Continuation
by SnowfairyTheOriginal
Summary: Just read it...


The glass window of the murky bedroom allowed a single band of glimmering luminosity to shine in. A single beam of tainted light spilling through the darkness. The rhythmic tapping of rain could be heard as it cascaded onto the pavement outside. It batted against the leaves of trees and bushes, tiny droplets shimmering as they descended from the unforgiving night sky. They could almost have resembled teardrops, numerous and sorrowful.

A woman still young of age sat at her desk, face buried in her folded arms. Her amethyst hair tumbled about her shaken form. What was normally silken and shiny was now thin and lanky. Her shoulders were rigid and the sobs racked her body with a relentless violence. The rain was just a distant flicker in the back of her mind. Barely acknowledged at all, dismissed without much care. As the rain continued to pour from above, her senses were struck with an earthy scent. It was something that was unidentifiable, something that reminded her of him.

Her thoughts remained on this man... a man that had always seemed a distraction for her. He refused to let her move on... even now... even after... That damnable Ryoji!

"Katsuragi, it's me. I'm sure you're listening to this message, especially after I caused you so much trouble." That voice, that teasing yet unavoidably seductive voice... oh how she missed it.

"Idiot... you're such an idiot." Misato barely contained another heart-wrenching cry. What was she supposed to do now? Now that he had left her alone again. Her mind drifted back, her eyes shifting to the pill clutched in her palm. The only thing he had left her. When his arms had curled around her waist, his body pressed up against hers so tightly that she hadn't felt alone anymore. She could feel it all still, as if it was a moment that had just passed.

The sensual warmth that his bare skin radiated... the taste... the musky scent... the feelings that had poured forth so passionately. Misato vividly recalled every line and curve, each dip, and soft wonderful patch of flesh on the man's emphatic torso as he propped up on his elbows, grinning at her. That smile... The playful, wicked smirk only he could produce. What a scoundrel, that playboy... how she missed it all still... "Idiot!" She nearly screamed with a hoarse breath. It was horrible finding herself lost, once more, in her own emotional turmoil.

She stood, bracing herself firmly with her arms as her legs adjusted and her back straightened. Wandering... no, wobbling to the mirror, she took in her appearance. She was greatly displeased by the haggard woman before her: she looked old, far too old. Though her well-formed full breasts, thin waist, and curvy hips added a daintiness to her figure that she found at one with her femininity, her puffed, haggard eyes, mussed hair, and tear-streaked cheeks were hardly what she deemed to be acceptable for a woman like herself. Her delicate bare feet padded through the apartment, taking her toward the bathroom.

With a shaking hand, she reached for the faucet, unleashing a rush of deliciously cold water that she splashed against her face. The feeling was more than welcome and a refreshing breath of life through the suffocating heat that had seemed to build up around her. Were she not so skeptical of it being physically possible, she could have sworn she heard the water droplets sizzle as they splashed against her skin. Simply flicking the moisture from her hands, she absentmindedly left the cool liquid to trickle across her smooth flesh, traveling down her lengthy neck.

Her legs now seemed to be moving of their own accord, taking her into the kitchen. Opening the fridge door, she paused for a moment to rest her arm along the top, forehead resting in the bend. Her parched lips parted with a gulp to her dry palate, and she let loose a heavy sigh. It was going to be another one of those nights. The thought that perhaps she should drink a glass of water and return to bed crossed her mind for a brief moment before she dismissed it, fingers wrapping around the nearest can of absolution.

With a loud pssffffttt, she lifelessly raised the can to her puckered lips, mechanically gulping down the cold drink. Her eyes darted back into the fridge as she chugged the alcoholic drink, mentally noting there was more than enough left for the morning dash she would undoubtedly have to make in a few hours. She pottered doggedly for a few moments before grabbing up a few more cans into her arms. 'To hell with it.' She mentally shrugged, cradling the precious cargo as she shut the fridge and returned to her room.

Shinji sighed as the sound of one beer after another opening echoed around the flat. Misato's aching sobs traveled to his ears, and were like knives to his senses. With each sorrowful cry, he felt himself flinch time and time again. His hands reached out into the darkness, searching the unkempt bed sheet he had kicked about in his restlessness. Inhaling a breath of relief when he found what it was he had been searching for, he brought the headphones to his ears. With a sorrowful glance to the door, he turned on his own method of reprieve... blocking out the sounds from his guardian's room.

'There's nothing else I can do... nothing I can say... I'm sorry... Misato.' The young boy's eyes flittered closed, hands folded upon his stomach. The relationship he held with Misato was indeed filled with love. She was far more than his guardian. She was his mother, his sister, his friend, his protector, and his commander... Yet he could not bring himself to be there for her at this moment... He had failed her.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered again, his muddy brown hair hanging low, shielding his eyes against the darkness as the evening wrapped him in it's velvet embrace, taking him off into the world of slumber.

"Miss Ayanami, please read the next passage aloud." The teacher called to the young Eva pilot. It was rare that she was in class. It was rare that any of the three Evangelion pilots attended classes these days. He was quick to take up the opportunity to have the girl read. Her soft ethereal voice sounding almost of poetry on it's own.

Her petite hand ran through her short mop of hair, bangs returning to their place in a glossy tumble as she stood from her chair. Her large burgundy eyes following along the text as she quietly spoke the words written within her book.

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but as walking shadow; a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

There was silence as she placed the book back upon her desk with a small thud. Whether the silence was due to a lack of understanding toward the material, disinterest on behalf of the students, or pure bewilderment at the peculiarity of the youthful girl it was unclear.

Without another word, she sat, face never leaving its ever-placid expression. Rei was forever the same. Her back straight and her hands neatly placed on her lap... She was perfect - or at least, so it seemed. Her porcelain skin was soft, and it practically begged to be brushed by a finger's caress, yearned for a stroke of affection or care. Craving the company of another. Her unusual hair color only made her that much more exotic. Her eyes seemed to look right through you sometimes, as if your very being had become translucent, your soul an open window.

She was perfect indeed. Her soft eyelashes, her heart-shaped face; it was almost as if she were a porcelain doll. Perfectly handcrafted with elegance and exquisite craftsmanship, her expression never changed. She never faltered. The glow about her could be described as almost inhuman, beatific in nature.

Yet the words Rei had spoken were just a distant ringing in Shinji's ears. He seemed to be a million miles away at that moment. His thin arms crossed above his class work, chin tentatively lounging atop them. His shadowy blue eyes were hazed if only slightly, lost in his own world. 'Asuka...'

"_It's the end of me when I get sympathy from you!!!"_

Her voice's shrill cry of annoyance rang in his head. Again... all he could do was apologize at that time. Was that truly all he could do? The boy felt really dense sometimes. He'd lived in that apartment with the petite beauty for how long now? And he knew hardly anything about her. Not that Asuka was one to offer up such information casually to him, of all people. More often than not she was yelling at him, but he had never really attempted either, had he? His cobalt eyes traveled over to her. Did he really know anything about Asuka... other than that she was extremely loud, forceful, constantly pms'ing, and took far, far too long to get out of the bath, that is. But wasn't that the case with girls anyway?

And what about Rei...?

As if he had somehow telepathically called out, she turned to him, burgundy eyes burning with an unerring intensity both soft, but willfully strong at the same moment. Bashfully, the young boy turned his head away, hiding his face in the safety of the cover of his textbook. Rei continued to watch him without a word. The youth's back remained hunched forward as he embarrassedly crouched out of view, his expression clearly reading of humiliation.

Though seemingly nothing like him, there was a small amount of Gendo that was chiseled into Shinji's features. The strong jaw line, the softness of his pale skin; Shinji would undoubtedly be a handsome man with age. Though there was definitely something a bit gentler in his features... something pure, unmistakably from his mother's side.

'Ikari...'

Not too far off, their fellow female Eva pilot stared out into the distance, as if too important to listen to such boring things as the class reading. The inconsequential mindless drawl of wondergirl was far beneath her. The sunlight danced upon her creamy skin as the cool breeze of the day caught through her hair from an open window. It was almost as if she had come from a world of endless summers: perfect hair, a brightness in her ocean eyes, and a perpetual rosiness adorning her darling cheeks. Elegance was not quite the feeling that radiated off of her as with Miss Ayanami, but there was a sense of poise and supremacy... though if such was truly the case it wasn't clear, for her eyes often read otherwise.

Her beautiful large blue eyes, the very windows to her soul, often gave away her true self. Or what could only be assumed as such. They cried out for attention at all times. They cried out for love. Though her glossy lips would declare the opposite on every occasion. The barriers she had erected around herself were strong and thick, or so she liked to believe. As long as she had herself... as long as she remained a light, a brilliance that floated above the rest, she didn't need anyone. She could be all right. She wasn't a child, and she was fine on her own... alone.

Who cared about this stuff anyway? The fiery red head pouted, her chin resting on her refined palm. Her eyes gazed over to them. To Shinji... to Rei... Who needed them in any case? She didn't need anyone anymore... She… she didn't... especially not those two!

"_Please... come to heaven with me..."_

'Stupid wonder girl, stupid feeble Shinji! I hate them… more than anyone.' Shinji was a weakling! Always apologizing. 'I'm sorry this' and 'I'm sorry that', even when he had nothing to be sorry for... It annoyed her to no end. Was he really a man? Had he no backbone? No, of course not. 'But he has heart...'

Cobalt met cool navy oceans as the two children's meandering gazes locked. The boy seemed surprised for a moment, before he meekly offered her a smile. Asuka reacted quickly as she felt a heat rising from her flushed cheeks. The girl whirled in her seat as if she hadn't looked at him at all, mentally huffing at the nerve of him. His smile faded and he ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. Was it even worth it to try to understand her?

"… _Maybe, there is little difference between humans and dolls..."_

Dolls... A doll. That's just what that stupid little girl was, a doll that remind her of those times. Times she didn't want to think about. Times she didn't need to think about anymore! Her Eva was just that as well. A doll, her doll, something she could control and use to be strong. She didn't need to lower herself by thinking about the past. The past was just that, past. She was stronger than that. She was strong... strong... ...strong.

"Asuka's pride was badly damaged." The annoyance in the tall blonde's voice was clear. Her fingertips played absently with the pen in her pocket as she discussed the matter at hand with Major Katsuragi. Her blonde locks remained in place as she shifted from one lengthy leg to the other. Misato watched her as she spoke, leaning slightly, her hand resting on her hip. The other woman still looked the same, even after all this time. Inwardly Misato was not surprised. It wasn't like her to try new things.

Ritsuko crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes watched Katsuragi closely. Asuka, the firecracker that had been living with Shinji and the woman before her, was walking on thin ice. Her synchro ratio was decreasing with each test. It was getting to be a troublesome issue, and it needed to be dealt with swiftly, before another angel attacked and they found themselves buried in more trouble than ever before. Children... why did the pilots have to be children? She imagined things would be run a great deal smoother if the pilots were adults. But then again, adults could be just as much as a handful, if not more so at times. Clashing egos, jumbled emotions... humanity was indeed far from complete in her eyes.

To say that Misato was unfit to deal with such issues was simply not true. She was a good person. She just... had a lot of issues of her own to deal with. To say that Ritsuko lead a lifestyle different to Misato's would be an understatement of great proportions. They were entirely different. Perhaps that was some of the reason they didn't always get along. But nevertheless, they were still good friends.

Misato glared back at the blonde. True, Ritsuko was her best friend from college. But sometimes she knew just the right button to press to annoy the hell out of her. "It's only natural... being beaten that way, and by Shinji no less. I don't know how much longer the three of us can go on living this way..." Her fist bawled at her side as Ritsuko gave her a sardonic grin.

Why was she being like this? The tall beautiful blonde shifted on her feet once more, her lab coat rustling a bit over her curvy figure. No matter how many excuses she made for her, Asuka was going to have to stop her foolish tantrums and get into gear before they simply found another child. There was no time for such childishness, and if anything was going to destroy that girl's ego, break her in two, it would be to have someone else piloting her Eva.

"Don't give me that look, Ritsuko. You know all about things like this. The personalities of girls Asuka's age seem to go downhill in droves, disintegrating in social and developmental detonations in even a normal atmosphere! It's much worse for these kids... having to go through what they do here. Normal girls her age are losing resiliency and buoyancy, becoming less inquisitive and gregarious. They go into deferential self-critical depressions over the smallest of things. Can we really expect them to do this so easily… to walk through these situations without any scars??"

"You just couldn't handle it. Not one to be the mothering kind. I knew you couldn't grip being a guardian. Not with your kind of lifestyle! It drags you down, being saddled with those kids, doesn't it? Messes up your schedule of slacking off and banging whatever guy you're hanging on at the moment. So it's finally the end of your little family game, huh?"

"I will not stand here and listen to this from someone who conceals her loneliness with pet cats!" Misato covered her mouth as the pain visibly flashed over her friend's eyes. It was a horrible thing for her to say... What was becoming of her? What was becoming of them?

"...I'm sorry... I'm just upset."

"Whatever." Ritsuko shrugged, brushing the comment off. She tried to appear unwounded... but it was a lie. She turned her back to Misato, unable to conceal the pain that was written in her features. "Just see that you get it into Asuka's head that she doesn't get a lot chances at this. Either she straightens out, or we start looking for a new pilot. Understand? Major?"

"Yeah, I get you." Misato muttered, and she left without another word, the tapping of her heel as she left the only sound before the slam of a door. Ritsuko's straight and defiant posture sagged at her departure. Her aging hands came up to her temples, rubbing them a bit to sooth the aching she now realized was plaguing her. The woman walked to her desk, plopping back into her seat, the manner being far from anything graceful. Her eyes drifted to the small cat figure on her desk and she took it into her hand, peering at it before returning it with a burdened sigh.

"_I will not stand here and listen to this from someone who conceals her loneliness with pet cats!"_

Loneliness...If only Misato understood the true depth of that word. What it was to be truly alone...

Rain? Again? How troublesome. Asuka didn't even bother to run or shield herself from the downpour. There was no way she was going to get home dry anyway. The water came upon her mercilessly, soaking her to the bone. Her red hair became matted down, stray strands sticking to her neck and back and her uniform clung to her petite figure. It became a feeling of slight discomfort after a while, but she deemed it best to ignore it. Though the constant squishing of her shoes was most unpleasant and she weighed the consequences of ripping off her shoes and just bare footing it home and resolutely decided against it.

The girl allowed her mind to wander again. Rain. How her feelings had changed over the years toward this miracle of the heavens. It seemed that she had long forgotten the simple pleasure of allowing it to wash over you. She had loved the rain as a child. But a child she no longer was... She wasn't as naive to the heartache of death or to the pain of bloodshed. She knew about loneliness, about sorrow, more than she ever thought possible.

At the moment, the rain seemed a great cause of loneliness in itself. It appeared as pain and sorrow flowed from the sky. As if to confirm her suspicions she was shaken by a crash of thunder. The youth glared up at the sky. It better not have been mocking her was the rueful consideration that crossed her irate psyche. Glancing to her right, she spotted the playground that lay not too far from her home.

Home, if she could even call it that! Unconsciously, she strolled into the area, moving past the drenched sandbox, the slides, and the tire swing. Her fingers brushed up the cold wet metal of an ordinary swing before she sat, gripping it. Her head drooped low, and her foot drudged along the mushy sand beneath her.

'I wish things were different...'

"Asuka?"

Her head jolted upward, visibly startled by the voice. She was frozen. How, how could she have been so stupid? At this moment, Asuka was thankful for the rain. It shielded her. It blended with her tears. They became invisible. Her wall could still stand firm. She wouldn't break, not now. "What do YOU want?" She strained, trying to keep her voice firm and unwavering. She couldn't show weakness. She would not accept the pity that she found staring back at her. It burnt her flesh and tortured her soul. She hated that feeling! She hated his pity! She hated his eyes! And she hated him.

"A-are you ok?" Shinji clutched his umbrella tightly. He was thankful that he had stopped to listen to a forecast and brought along an umbrella. It seemed that Asuka had not been so fortunate. Stumbling upon her like this, it was strange. He'd never seen her look so... helpless.

"Am I ok? AM I ok?? Of course I'm ok! I'm more than ok! What kind of stupid question is that?" She stood firm. No, she was not ok. But she'd be damned if he knew that. She'd never let anyone in. She couldn't. She had to be strong. She wouldn't allow herself to be anything else. She couldn't be vulnerable. 'But I am...'

"Sorry..." He was unnerved by the uncomfortable silence that hung between them. The feeling was not unlike the silent wait before the battle with an angel began. He didn't feel like fighting with her. Not now. "Asuka... let's go home. Here, we can share my umbrella." He held it out as if he were offering a show of peace between warring countries. He squirmed a moment under her cynical gaze. Why did she have to be that way? Couldn't she just get over herself and do it?

"Share an umbrella with you? Hmmph! What kind of loser do you take me for?" She huffed crossing her arms over her chest and walked on ahead. Well apparently she couldn't. The boy shook his head sighing with sagging shoulders. Well, he tried. Dashing off, he followed along behind her.

The walk home was unnerving for them both, the air between them as thick as broth. The only sound remained the tapping rhythm of the raindrops and the loud crashing of thunder. Shinji solemnly stared at Asuka's back as she stubbornly trudged on ahead of him. Her hands had come up to wrap around her arms, the chill in the air causing her skin to tremble and goose bumps to crawl up her form. Her once smug gate had distorted into a slow sullen trot. She sniffled now and again, silently cursing her nose with a venomous growl.

There seemed to be an inner conflict with Shinji a moment. His eyes darted from his umbrella to her drenched form and back. With a visible roll of the eyes he sighed exasperatedly, jogging up to her side. Asuka walked on for a moment before she blinked. The feel of the numbing raindrops had gone, and she glanced up at the boy. He was at her side, offering her that same goofy grin. What was wrong with him? Her cheeks were flushed, and she couldn't think of what to say. Asuka being Asuka shouted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I don't need your help!"

Shinji in reply, nodded quietly with a gentle laugh. "I didn't ask if you did."

"I'm home."

"I'm home."

The two pairs of soaked shoes plummeted at the door, sock pulled off as well, and Asuka sighed with relief at getting the soggy things from her tired feet. She padded her way further into the apartment. Shinji, after dropping the umbrella, followed not too far behind. As they approached the table, Asuka removed the clips from her drenched mane. With a shake of her head, the drenched strands shook about, casting off droplets of water on the floor. Looking down at herself her expression revealed a great displeasure. Turning she once again locked gazes with the boy and for a moment there was silence.

Shinji was frozen under her close inspection. His lips parted slightly, wanting to say something, but no words were formed. The disheveled girl straightened her skirt and crossed her arms above her chest, chewing on her bottom lip with an awkward nervousness. "Shinji I.."

"Asuka.." They both stopped surprised as their voices merged in that moment. There was a sudden flush to Shinji's cheeks and Asuka was immediately unnerved. She suddenly felt very aggravated. She wasn't sure why. She didn't like it at all and it was going to stop. "Like I was going to say! I'm gonna take a bath! Hurry up and get some food going will ya? I'm starved and don't you dare even think about peeking!" She flipped her hair and stormed into the bathroom, closing the door in her wake.

Shinji blinked curiously. What was up with her?

Asuka meanwhile leaned against the bathroom door. What the heck was his problem; showing up like that, pretending to help her... she didn't need his help. And why did it all make her feel so weird? She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. This entire day had just been way too stressful. She walked over to the tub, filling it up with hot water. Her fingers danced upon its summit, creating ripples and waves as they moved. Her shirt went up and over her head, plopping on the floor with a watered down thud, and the remainder of her uniform soon followed suit.

She sat herself on the edge of the tub, tying up her hair in a messy bun. Testing the water with her foot she let loose a relieved sigh at the refreshing heat and she slipped in further, allowing the warmth to flood around her cold skin. Her neck leaned back, and her head gently rested itself on the tub's side as her eyes drifted shut, face reading a tranquil air. The steam from the delightful lofty temperature rose up and engulfed her shoulders and neck, leaving tiny drops upon her porcelain skin.

Misato's eyes gazed thoughtfully over the youthful Ayanami. The porcelain figure stood still, lost in her own world with eyes fixated on her Eva. It was if they were communicating without words. Sharing a bond that Misato could only one day hope to understand. Deep within they connected in some way. She did not move, but stood as motionless as the Eva who seemed to stare back with the same intensity, simply gaping inaudibly. There were many things that Misato didn't understand. Things about the Evas, things about these children, things about the people around her... Things just didn't add up. But was Misato the only one seeing that? No, Kaji saw it.

Rei would gladly give up her life for Commander Gendo Ikari. The same man whom Misato was having so much trouble finding trust in lately. Ayanami believed in him, in his words, his actions, his desires for the future. She would die for him using that thing... that Eva. It gave her an identity, a purpose. Shinji piloted Eva because that was expected of him and yet, in his mind, it also filled him with something he had not before known. It made him important. It gave him a purpose, a reason to go on. Asuka... piloting Eva gave her a sense of pride. She found strength in herself and a security in what she was. It also gave her an identity... a purpose. In this they were all connected, drawn together by the same thing, the Evas.

But who was she? What was her identity? What was Misato's purpose?

'_Katsuragi, the truth is with you. Don't hesitate. Move ahead!'_

"In this colorless existence I am plummeting, and in this silence I hear your breathing. I am... fearful." Rei looked down at her small, pale hands. What was her purpose? She felt as if she wasn't herself, but couldn't discern who that self was she thought she should be in the first place.

"Will you really desert me... Ikari?"


End file.
